I’ve been in a bad mood the last few days since I’ve had a headache and just generally been sick and suffering from a lack of sleep. I’m pretty bad at being sick. I feel sorry for myself and wallow and then just feel in a bad mood and bitchy. I felt so wiped out today and just slept most of the day. I just feel in such a funk when I’m sick. And the last few days have seemed worse than usual. It’s like I’m tired and emotional and just on edge all the time. I was eating a toasted sandwich and a baked bean dropped out of it onto my PJs and I almost started crying, Seriously. I am not a good sick person
I just want to curl up in bed and be looked after and have someone read me Harry Potter. Being read to is one of the greatest pleasures in life, I think, and I find it kind of sad that it’s something that seems to disappear with your childhood. There’s something so soothing about it. My MacBook can read to me, but its voice is so robotic, so it’s not quite the same. I’ve listened to one audio book before, Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love, and I really enjoyed it. It’s nice to hear an author read their own work as well.
Sadly there was no one there to read to me today and I didn’t have any audio books, so I just slept. But I had a terrible nightmare in which my iPhone was stolen by a taxi driver, my MacBook was stepped on, (apparently Apple products are deeply important to subconscious) and I was roped into working for the Dancing with the Stars host, who was terribly mean to me in a Devil Wears Prada kind of way. Following all this, people started attacking me by shoving their fingers down my throat. Seriously terrifying. I’m not sure what a dream interpreter would make of all of this, and I’m not sure I even want to know.
Speaking of symbolic dreams, I’ve also been dreaming a bit about cutting my hair off and then regretting it terribly. Apparently it’s all very Samson and Delilah and could mean that I feel like I’m losing power. One dream interpreter suggests that it could mean that you would like to take a risk in some aspect of life but are frightened about what this change could bring.
In one dream I had cut my hair ultra short, Mia Farrow style, which I think I quite liked. I actually had my hair this short a few years ago, and have been growing it out ever since, which has been an incredibly slow process, so I guess the length of my hair is important to me.
In the other dream, I just chopped my hair off in the spur of the moment and it looked dreadful and I immediately regretted it. I felt so relieved once I woke up and realised it hadn’t happened.
I don’t often think about interpreting my dreams, unless they seem to be one of those well-known ones like all your teeth falling out, of which I’ve had a few. But I think things like dream interpretation or horoscopes can be quite interesting, not for their ability to tell you the future or necessarily unlock your deepest darkest secrets, but sometimes when I read them I find something that speaks to me or makes me question things going on in my life, and any increase in self-awareness is surely a good thing.
With the hair dreams, I don’t really feel much connection to the idea about losing power, as I don’t really consider myself someone who is particularly powerful or interested in power anyway. I don’t have much power to lose. But the fear of taking a risk, and the changes that could result from it, there’s something in that which is cause for contemplation. I am quite risk averse. I don’t know if this contemplation will result in me having a drastic hair cut or moving to Barcelona or, quite possibly, nothing at all, but at least it’s food for thought – and it may have even helped pull me out of my melancholy.